When I was in high school, my horticulture class had greenhouses.
One kid was growing some marijuana and our teacher didn't even know.
He had always been a snot to me so I snitched on him, anonamously.
Our principal came in and confiscated the plant. He kept thr plant
in his office and called the cops the next day. I was in the main
office when thry came and the plant had been harvested.
When I lived in Texas I was tormented by a dog from down the street.
He would get into the garbage every Tuesday night and strew it all
over my yard. Talking to his owner did no good; the next garbage
day would find me picking up my yard. I finally lost all control
and shot the dog. I was trying to kill him but only shot off a leg.
I felt bad about it, but I felt even worse when garbage day came
and I found my garbage strewn all over the yard. This, when I knew
the dog was still in the dog hospital. The owner never found out
that I was the shooter, but that three-legged dog lived for 8 more
years and would try to bite me every time he got the chance. Luckily,
he was easy to outrun.
I tell little lies to everyone.
I told some freinds that I had seen a couple of Fellini films
just to make it seem like I was a little more knowledgeable about
movies than I already am. I finally did see one. I didn't get it.
I used to wear my mother's clothes when I was 12.
I went to a party at a guy's place. I really disliked the guy,
so when I excused myself to go to the bathroom I pissed in his shampoo,
shook it up and put it right back where I found it. I don't think
he ever found out. Actually, that stunt still gives me great satisfaction
today. Also, when I was a kid I used to break into cars and steal
anything I could find. Now I'm a cop.
Once, I got REALLY drunk and broke into a church and stole a stereo,
a telephone, and a bag of Oreos out of their Sunday School room.
I felt REALLY bad the next day.
I am an adult man and I have three different Xena dolls.
This is really gross, but a couple of years ago, my friend and
I had gone for a walk. We were on our way back (Yet, still pretty
far from home) when I had to take a shit really badly! There was
no where to go, except there was a public library really close by,
but we weren't sure if it was open. Luckily it was still open, but
by the time we got there, I wasn't able to contain myself and I
had already shit my pants. I didn't tell my friend, and when we
got in the bathroom, I ran in, took off my underwear, cleaned myself
up, and since I was really embarrassed and didn't want to tell my
friend what had happened, I took my shit-filled underwear, lifted
off the top of the toilet, and tossed them in. I walked home with
onlt toilet paper in my pants (Which is real uncomfortable) I still
dont know if my undies ever got taken out, and I have not gone to
that Library since!
When I was young (about 8 or 9) my friend and I pissed in cups,
mixed with cordial, and drank it
I have a subscription to Martha Stewart's Living.
My boyfriend was pissing me off by staying in bed so I emptied
the contents of my baby's nappy into a sandwich and brought him
breakfast in bed. He didn't eat it.
I once broke into my old high school during my junior year, and
pissed in all the teachers' trash cans.
I'm 40 years old and I'm still a virgin.
I received a videotape in the mail that should have been delivered
two streets over. It was for a new grandma from her son and daughter
in law showing thier newborn baby. I taped it over with a pornographic
film. All except the breastfeeding.
I am in the military, and once a particularly obnoxious SGT hassled
me to the point where I felt a need to "lose" his personnel records.
It was too bad too, since he lost out on his big chance to get into
a rambo school, whose recruiters were visiting the very next day!
I would very much like to end civilization as we know it. Not
just change things, I would really like to DESTROY everybody's happy
little day to day bullshit lives. Does that make me psycho? I'm
not the only person who feels this way — would you push the
red button if you had the opportunity?
