October 31, 2004

I'm starting to feel a little ridiculous. I've been sitting here for an hour, all alone, rather elaborately dressed up like a ghoul, white skin and black eye sockets and bloody matted hair around my tiara and a torn satin dress with a crumpled corsage. I've got two giant black pots of candy with creepy doll heads nestled in them, White Zombie (the movie, not the band) blaring over my stereo, and I'm waiting for trick-or-treaters.

Really I guess I'm more of a zombie, but I prefer the word ghoul. Technically, though, all zombies are ghouls as well, being flesh eaters, so ghoul is just fine.

Anyway, something about being dressed up all by myself is just weird. It's like those people who won't break character at the Renaissance Festival or a Star Trek convention. Rebecca was supposed to come over and drink cocktails and dole out candy with me. She wasn't going to dress up, but that didn't matter. You don't both have to be in costume for it to be normal. After all, it's Halloween. But you do need a companion as proof that you're not some desperate weirdo. Even before I called her at noon and she was at a bar drinking margaritas, I was pretty sure she would bail on me. I tried to talk one of my other girlfriends into coming over instead. In normal circumstances, she would be voted Most Likely to Dress Up Like a Fellow Ghoul with Little or No Notice. But right now she is very, very sad. So here I am. Solitary ghoul.

OH! Trick-or-treaters!

Three rounds in rapid succession. It's early, so they were all really little kids, plus one older girl, not in costume, apparently responsible for taking out a whole pack of 5-year-olds. But she was still holding out a bag, wildly inappropriate. Before, she would have gotten shitty candy, a lecture, or at least a very dirty look. However, this year, I'm trying something new. I'm giving loads of candy to everyone, even if they totally don't deserve it. Usually, I stand in sneaky judgment and give good candy to the good costumes and shitty candy to everyone else. But the task of judging everyone on the spot was just too stressful. Plus, one of my neighbors told me his grandson said I gave out the best candy (obviously, he wears a good costume), and it filled me with Christmas spirit (instead of my usual Halloween spirit) and I decided to give loads of good candy to everyone.

And it's fun! I have to say bestowing giant fistfuls of teeth-rotting goodness to all is so much better than my previous cynical system. I'm guessing it's the same sense of benevolent power the people throwing Mardi Gras beads enjoy. Plus, I really need to get rid of all this candy. I have about 10 gallons of it. That's a fuckload, and my ass is already too big for practically everything I own. (Don't you think I would have preferred to be a sexy ghoul? Maybe next year.)

OH! More trick-or-treaters!

Hm. That was a little weird. Two different groups containing little girls dressed as very sexy devil girls, sequins and feathers and belly shirts and lipstick. I guess the age limit for using Halloween as the officially sanctioned slutty holiday has dropped a few years. And one little boy in regular clothes who beamed "A BOY!" when I asked him what he was. Then there was another small boy in a torn T-shirt who, when prompted, claimed he was a hobo (I didn't know kids were still being hobos), along with his little friend in a skeleton costume who, without being prompted, said "And I am a skeleton, as you can clearly see," gesturing expansively at his own outfit.

I love Halloween! I wish people came door-to-door begging for candy on all the holidays!

We should start an adult version of Halloween where you drop by all your neighbors' houses and everyone has to give you a drink and an hors d'oeuvre! And I'm not saying that just because I'm drunk and hungry. You could have beer or wine or a pitcher of cocktails or margaritas, plus finger food! You could even have mocktails for the alcoholics. Everyone would do it and it would be great fun and you would meet and love all your neighbors. Way better than National Night Out (plus, no cops).

I just went across the street to bounce the idea off Kat & Cliff, and not only did they think it was a good idea (Cliff even suggested February, being a post-holiday depression month, although that's not exactly how he put it), but they also gave me a Lone Star tallboy! See! It's brilliant! And it's taking off already! We just need a name....Friendlytom? Drunkingtime? Neighborsteem? Snacksgiving?

10.21.04