February 17, 2004

Maybe I could wake up at a decent hour if I didn't decide to paint the inside of my closet at midnight. Of course, if I had gone to bed early, I wouldn't have discovered the dead possum Herman dragged through the doggie door around 3am until this morning, which would have been even grosser.

I've come to terms with Herman's killing intrusive animals in the backyard; that's fine. But I hope she doesn't start to make a habit of dragging them into the house like this. This was a fresh kill, so it wasn't even smelly yet, just muddy. But what if she lugs in a 3-day old carcass that I didn't notice rotting in the backyard, trailing a wriggling wake of maggots and stink? God. What if she'd made it all the way through the house to the couch? Yuck. I'd have to get a new couch. And I like my couch. Ah, see this is why I need to move "Slipcover couch" to the top of the list. I don't think "Paint closet" was even on the list.

But I do love my painted closet. The idea is to get rid of enough clothes I hate so that the closet looks all organized and lovely like a closet in a Target ad instead of like George's wallet in that Seinfeld episode where it explodes. Meanwhile, since I had to wait for the paint to dry, everything from inside is piled up all over my bed and around my room. Which meant I had to sleep on the couch like this lady.

check out that handsome popcorn stitch!

Last weekend, I made & hanged 2 sets of curtains, disassembled 2 more pair because I had decided I hated them. I'll be disassembling a third as soon as I can find/make an appropriate replacement. Plus I made a matching curtain for the smaller window. I crocheted a hat and started a matching scarf featuring a popcorn stitch, which, after 25 years of crocheting, I finally bothered to learn (it took maybe a minute to learn, duh). And I drew up plans for my new fabulous underbed boxes (I revised my feng shui "nothing under the bed" philosophy in favor of an "only well made stained-to-match lined wooden boxes of sleep-related items such as pillows, blankets, and my 20-plus pairs of pajamas under the bed" creed, much more practical). My complete lack of social and sex life is really feeding my inner Martha. Hm. Maybe I've discovered the secret to Martha Stewart's success...

I actually had a girl date last week, with Rachel, who I don't think I've seen in a couple of years. It was very nice! She brought flowers, which are still fresh and pretty, and I made snackies and drank champagne (Rachel abstained, yet somehow there were 2 empty champagne bottles the next day..?). She was all trim and happy and still all excited about Roller Girls. I was envious—not of the Roller Girls part; of the excitement part. And the being part of a group thing. I don't really have a gang anymore. You can't run with a crowd and be a shut-in; you have to pick. Apparently, I picked shut-in. I don't exactly miss having a big group of friends; ultimately, I'd rather have a few solid ones who won't disappoint me. People break my heart when they're jerks. But I do miss the ease of always having someone to play with. I'm lonely a lot now.

Anyway, in addition to making me a bit envious—but actually, it was more of a motivational kind of envy than icky envy—Rachel also told me that my needlepoint is as good as the competitive needlepoint (competitive needlepoint? who knew?) from her old man's mother's scene. I so love the idea of making the "needlepoint scene," whatever that entails. I can't imagine! That would really complete my transition from normal, social person to homey weirdo. I'm also thinking a teaching a crochet class next fall.

Speaking of heartbreak, in the next couple of months I'm going to have an ugly mess of heartbreak to deal with. I'm about to face not being invited to a good friend's wedding (which is the ultimate snub; I don't think there's a bigger snub without actually being shunned). He's been prepping me for it for months. I imagine he thinks he's been laying the groundwork gently & subtly, bless his heart. So there's that to look forward to, hooray.

What else? Let's see: home improvement, crafts, loneliness, too much champagne, impending shame/sadness.... Yep, that covers it. Oh, and Kristi's coming up this weekend! Love the mom weekends! It's going to be tough staying on my new 8 Minutes in the Morning program. Isn't it cute how they never want to call it a "diet"? "Diets are out!" As if subsisting on 800 calories a day isn't a diet just because you have little boxes to check off.... But I do get 2 "treats" boxes to check off a day. I don't see why wine can't be my treat. Maybe I can count wine as my fruit, too. By the time I drink two treats and a fruit, I'll be able to convince myself that wine's also dairy or vegetables. Problem solved!

2.6.04