January 31, 2002, 3am

Do they give a fortune cookie at Thai Kitchen? I want to eat lunch at Thai Kitchen tomorrow, but I also want to eat somewhere I get a fortune cookie. I don't think you get a fortune cookie with Thai. You get one with Vietnamese, which doesn't make any sense, so you'd hope to get one with Thai. But I think no. Maybe you have to share a border with China to rate a fortune cookie.

Oh, I like that theory! That would explain the fortune cookie at Mongolian BBQ and Korea House! I've never eaten Russian, except in Russia--and my new fortune cookie theory only applies to Asian food in America. But I can't imagine a fortune cookie after all that sour cream. And of course Indian violates my theory as well. Pooh. Unless a fortune cookie is optional in bordering cuisines but disallowed in non-bordering cuisines. Or maybe it's a question of land mass. This is getting complicated. The important thing is that I don't think you get a fortune cookie at Thai Kitchen.

That's too bad. I guess it's Vietnamese then. You know, I haven't eaten out since the first week of the month. How about that? I'm a regular frugal gourmet. I've been cooking much tasty food. Up until just now, nothing has sounded more appealing that what I've made myself. Last night, I invented these amazing peppers stuffed with rice and vegetables and walnuts and corn, with sour cream and a spicy, plush pasilla sauce that'll curl your toes. But I ate it all gone. So I'm in between dishes right now. Right now, the only prepared foods in my refrigerator are sides.

Which begs: where do I eat?

I know I want a fortune cookie. I know I want a fortune cookie because I'm sure my next fortune will be clever and insightful. I found one of my old favorites when I was cleaning out my desk:

Alas! You are the apple of my eye.

Which, properly heeded, might have dramatically changed my life.

And now I want a new one, because I am convinced it will be just as apt and pithy. I am convinced it will direct my course in life. I am convinced it will give me just the push I need to swing back into action.

Although I've been brilliant at health and home (yoga, flossing, vegetables, water, vitamins, de-cluttering, repairing, frugal living, and a satisfyingly obsessive cleaning & homemaking routine--thanks Chel)--I've been brilliant at health and home, but I've had little forward momentum in my life at large. I've just been taking care of business internally and laterally. I'm swirling around my head and house like a whirling dervish, but I can't seem to move outward. I have this nagging feeling that there's something I'm supposed to do.

Meantime, I'm unconvinced, apparently, about going ahead and doing those things my brain and my list tell me I actually need to do.

I'm waiting for an epiphany. This is usually when I get one, when I'm on the cusp like this. Only usually I can't tell I'm on the cusp because I'm so disorganized. Right now I'm genuinely organized but unconvinced.

So I'm waiting on the nudge.

Which I'm hoping will come in the form of a fortune.

Which I will receive tomorrow at lunch. Voila!

And if it's no good, I'll try again next week. It's bound to find its way to me eventually.

01.21.02